Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not thereby diminished. ~Michael Strassfeld

Literally.

Due to being overweight & diabetic, I had the extreme (dis)pleasure of having to undergo a stress test last Friday. Rather than having doc's nurse call me up and say "it's all good, move on with your life", doc's nurse called and said, "doc wants to go over the results with you". This has ever and always been the time to say "uh-oh, something's wrong" and then worry about it.

Apparently, whenever I exercise, the ventricular septum, (aka: wall between the left and right ventricles of the heart) does not get enough blood flow. After I've rested a bit, things go back to normal, thus is it termed a "reversible defect". The downside to all of this is the fact that it is an indication of an arterial/aortal blockage.

So, my heart's broken, and now I have to wait a week to find out just how we're going to fix it.

A full week.

It sucks, I've always been the type that, when something needs done, get it done and move on. No waiting means no worries, and no stress.

In the meantime, I'm taking a Beta inhibitor to decrease the possibility of putting too much strain on my heart.

On one hand, I'm thinking I'm too damn young to be starting this shit, and on the other, I'm counting my lucky stars we caught things while I was this young.

I'll keep ya'll updated.

~~~~ UPDATE ~~~~

I spoke with a knowledgeable friend earlier this afternoon, and the general consensus is that I'm a likely candidate for angioplasty. Not really looking forward to that, if that's the case. We'll see what doc says come Wednesday.

In other news, I'm newly bespectacled. Thanks to a wonderful program in my state, I was able to get a real dilated eye exam and pair of glasses today. Hate the dilation part, but, hey, at least I was able to get the proper prescription so I can see.

~~~~ UPDATE ~~~~

Finally saw the cardiologist today. I'm going in next Wednesday for a heart catheterization to find out where the blockage is in my heart. Once we have this information, we will know what we're doing about it.

I really, really hate waiting.

Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not thereby diminished. ~Michael Strassfeld

For the last couple of months, we have relied heavily upon the generosity of our friends and neighbors to get us to work, do our shopping, or get to appointments. As of today, that is no longer the case. We finally have a functioning vehicle of our own again, and are much relieved. While it was difficult trying to get everything situated schedule-wise with those who provided us with transportation in the mean-time, it also taught us a few things about our shopping habits. For example, it's not so easy to just jump up and run out for junk food when the mood hits at odd hours of the night. As such, our spending was limited greatly to obtaining what we needed so that we, and our ride, could go on with our separate lives.

Now that we have become more aware of this, perhaps it will coincide with a few of our other "resets" that we've placed in our lives to encourage the big "r" word: responsibility. It sucks having to grow up, but I'm glad we're learning these lessons now so that we can educate our children and help them be more financially stable than our parents taught us to be.

Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not thereby diminished. ~Michael Strassfeld

I have been a very busy lady! Let's see what I've been up to:

I volunteer for two organizations via online work. One I perform as a Web master, maintaining the site, fixing bugs, and adding pages. The other is quite a bit more in depth and taking quite a bit of what free time I have, but extremely rewarding. I am also volunteering on three committees for my local UU church, keeping me in touch and out of the house just when I need it the most, and am about to add a new social group and another UU related committee into the mix.

I'm taking college courses, just about to wrap up the second in a series of ten, to obtain my Bachelor's, and seriously contemplating finishing things up right afterward to get my Master's.

I'm also continuing to work flat work, thank goodness the demand is fairly low key, but not so much that its causing hardship schedule-wise or financially.

In all of this, I'm working toward a healthier lifestyle to battle my diabetes. Something I feel takes much more time and willpower than any of the above mentioned items put together as a whole. My husband is wonderfully supportive, pushing when I need it the most, and relenting when he sees the paths just been too hard.

Somewhere in all of this, I still find the time to see to the needs of my little ones, my husband, my friends, and my self. A year ago, I would have called you crazy if you'd said adding to what I saw as a full plate would create a happier life for me. It seems that, though it may be stressful at times, the more involved and active I am in the outer community and in my own life, the happier I become.

Giving of my self has always been a soothing element for me and I am grateful for the wonderful reminder.

So, I may not be here as much as I like, or posting as often, but I'm sure as heck not out of the running. Not by a long shot!

Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not thereby diminished. ~Michael Strassfeld

Yes, it's really happening! I'm going on an extended weekend for a vacation! I am extremely excited about this and looking forward to the adventure. Hopefully, the kiddos will treat their father well while I'm away. LOL

School's going great, passed my first class with an "A" and it looks like I'll be doing the same with class number two. In the meantime, I'm keeping relatively busy with small projects from a client, which has been very nice.

Beauty is far beyond skin deep, for it is in the eye of the beholder and in the mind of the individual.

Our family is growing again, but not in the way most people would expect. Since I've found a place where I feel at home and am able to fill my spiritual gas tank regularly, life has had stress, but it's a kind of shared stress. I'm not alone in this, as my hubby has also found his way to this place when life allows. I must say that it has been wonderful.

Gone are the days where I feel like I'm competing with another person as to how good or bad life is currently treating us. I'm able to share with others my concerns regarding emergency room visits and health concerns and feel as though they care. Of course, I've made more than a few friends along the way, something I was missing in my life at home, shuttering myself away from the world.

One couple in particular seems to be quite the perfect match for Raven and I, and what's even better is that, while their kids might be grown, they understand what is means to have children and the kind of obstacles that go with having them. A big bonus is the fact that they absolutely love them, and the kids love them.

I'm still very busy with my volunteer work and stuff here at home. Things will be interesting as children come home for the summer months, but I'm looking forward to seeing how they grow before my eyes. *grin* Having a friend's place to go to where I feel comfortable with the children running in and out has been, and likely will be, a blessing and a half as the weather grows warmer. ♥ ♥ ♥

On top of all of this, Raven's getting enrolled into college to start his educational career. I'm very proud of him for taking this step, and look forward to encouraging him as long as he desires to attend. This is bringing about some very positive changes at his workplace, allowing him the potential to advance without the sticklers of not having a higher education standing in his way. He has at least one person who is higher on the food chain looking out for him who will also be encouraging him in his endeavors, which is a big plus in my book.

Now that I've established myself with an AABA, I'm seriously considering branching out and entering the medical field, possibly starting as a CNA and deciding from that point whether I want to be more, like an RN. I'm excited about this opportunity, as I have always had a knack for being caring and nurturing toward others, and I'm hoping it satiates whatever need I have for bringing home strays. LoL